I used to think I had my life all planned out. It was set.
Graduate high school, go to college at Baylor, graduate, move to Dallas, meet a
guy, get a job, get married, live happily ever after.
But the Lord laughs at my humanly-made plan because that is
not even a fraction of what He had in store for me. In my head, I thought “I’m
typical.” Normal life, good family, good school, I’m smart, good relationship with
the Lord and good friends. A tad boring right? But I was happy with my life. I
was content with my friends and I really didn’t think I needed anymore. My
family was a typical American family. All in all, I was content and I didn’t
want anything to change.
But why would I settle for that life where you just coast
through everyday? I didn’t really want to be bothered or step out of my comfort
zone. A world where nothing is difficult, no surprises, no changes and
everything is easy. I feel like a lot of people yearn for that kind of life.
But if you did have that easy life, why would you need the Lord?
Over the years, I have learned to be thankful for the
hardships that come. Yes, there are some days I feel like I just want to break
to a million pieces because the weight of the world and being “successful” is
just too much. The comparison to classmates and friends is enough to convince
yourself that you’ll never be good enough.
I’m sick of that mindset. I didn’t realize it at the time
but all those hardships and disappointments have made me weak and strong at the
same time. Weak because I can’t go through one living second without the Lord
literally carrying me through. And strong, because I don’t expect for things to
be easy anymore. I WANT to go to the Lord and say okay, this is impossible and
I can’t do it. I am not physically, mentally or emotionally strong enough.
Life isn’t about living happily ever after. The world
doesn’t work that way. All of the successes you’ve seen from people were
followed by about 100 failures before. But they kept fighting.
I am still extremely guilty of this, but ever since I was
little, if I couldn’t be perfect at something the first time, then I convinced
myself I couldn’t do it at all. For example, riding a bike. Ready for an
embarrassing fact? I learned how to ride my bike when I was 12. I started trying
to learn when I was about six, but I would get on the bike and try to ride, and
the second I fell, I would throw a hissy fit and give up.
I hate to admit it, but I'm still that way with a lot of
things. I wish I could tell you I keep fighting and trying after I fail
something, but that is what I've been trying to work on lately.
If everyone gave up after they failed then I don’t know
where we would be.
Winston Churchill
failed the 6th grade.
Thomas Edison was
told he was “too stupid to learn anything.”
Abraham Lincoln
was a failure of a businessman at first.
Albert Einstein
couldn’t read until he was 7 years old.
Michael
Jordan lost almost 300 games, missed over 9000
shots at goal, and 26
times he was given the ball to take the game
winning shot and MISSED.
Henry Ford went
broke five times before he succeeded.
The list goes on.
These are the people I think about when I don’t feel like
fighting or trying anymore in school or in hardships.
I want to have the perseverance of those men who never gave
up. It starts with the little decisions and actions that build the character to not be afraid to keep trying. If I accept the fact that things are not going to go
exactly as planned, then it might just be the Lord closing that door and
opening another one that is better.
Life is going by too fast. I don’t want to look back and
think I didn’t fight for something as much as I should have. I have one more
year of college left. And it will be filled with some failures but even larger
successes, all solely because I didn’t give up.
