Little things inspire us throughout the day and we don’t
even realize it. It’s like a little flame goes off in our head and a brilliant
idea is created. Maybe those are God’s ways of getting our attention. Yes, God
is all around us every second of the day. And His way of guiding us is laying
little pieces right before our feet for us to pick up one by one.
I feel inspired when I am walking to my 8 a.m. class early in
the mornings and see the sun peeking through the trees or reflecting off the
gorgeous buildings on campus. There are some days where everything seems so
clear. The air is crisp and clean, there is a slight breeze mixed with the sun
hitting your face. It’s a freeing moment followed by the sheer anxiety to get to
your class on time and just hoping there wasn’t a homework assignment due.
Usually these are just typical days. It seems like the same
old thing everyday. These college years go down in the record books as a crazy
four-year rollercoaster that doesn’t even have words to describe it. Living
with other college students, all-nighters just to get the insane amount of work
done, balancing chores with family, work and friends…it’s
overwhelming at times. You grow to respect college like you respect deep water
in an ocean if you’ve swam out too far. It feels like it can just sweep you
under in an instant if you stop working at it.
I don’t take my journey of life lightly. I have some very
sobering scars and memories that I carry with me as reminders of what I
experienced growing up. Those memories remind me how dangerous, but beautiful
life can be. It reminds me of the people who had the biggest impact on my life.
A true family doesn’t get made just because you all grew up
in the same house and were raised by the same parents. Family gets made when
they are standing right next to you gripping your hand so hard at a funeral
that you can feel their pain that shares along side yours. Family is made when
you decide to stick together when it seems like the sky is falling and
everything is disorienting. Family is made when the future looks obscure. It’s
the decisions and the sacrifices you make to put your family first before
anything. It’s the memories and the difficulties and the heart-wrenching
moments that keeps your heart together. Family is one unit and it will stay one
unit until your last breathe.
I want to see the extraordinary life God has set for me. I
feel like I’m waiting for this big moment to happen so my “grown-up life” can
finally start. But there isn’t going to be some bright shining moment one day.
Some nights I lay awake worrying like an immature girl. My
brain scurries around like a squirrel desperately trying to find an acorn.
These questions roll through my mind so fast, I can’t even process it.
“How much money does one have to make to be successful?”
“If I make a lot of money, but I don’t like my job, is that
still successful?”
“What if my major isn’t challenging enough?”
“Where the heck do you start looking for jobs when you
graduate?! …who do you live with…I better not live by myself…Can I still live
in Texas?!”
These questions I constantly worry about is enough to make
God roll on the floor laughing with my lack of trust I choose to put in Him. If
only I just let Him deal with my future, I would get a lot more sleep at night.
Life is constantly building one day at a time. We are all
building, growing and learning each day and that is what is making us stronger.
Strong enough to be able to hold whatever life throws at us. You don’t have to
go on big elaborate trips or have loud family gatherings to make your life
complete or have good stories.
I love His gift of life He has given me. He wants me to live
it and use it to better His Kingdom, to make Him belly laugh at my stupid
mistakes, to break down and break through. He gives us glimpses of hope and
redemption. He makes us laugh out loud when we realize we are trying to control
our own lives.
So for now, I want bright days, ones that make me want to
sing loud in the car with the windows down, cook a delicious meal for my
family, walk on the beach without a care in the world. (Especially not about
what I am supposed to do after graduation.) God wants that for us, to enjoy the
beauty of each day He has given us as a gift. Don’t waste it.
Love you all, Lauren
